


The Notfic About Ryan The Moody Photographer

by action-cat (clytemnestras)



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Alternate Universe - Photographer, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Notfic, Polyamory, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:33:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3393647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clytemnestras/pseuds/action-cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is a photographer disillusioned with fashion photography, Shane is his very successful friend/rival with which he shares a studio and Brendon is the alarmingly pretty model who makes Ryan lose his mind.</p><p>Or something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Notfic About Ryan The Moody Photographer

**Author's Note:**

> okay so once upon a time i was asked to tell the story of ryan the moody photographer and brendon the beautiful model and instead I chatficced _this_ over skype for about two hours through many death threats. i kind of lifted it from the conversation with very minor edits and so this is not only kind of incoherent but also very ridiculous and not very good.
> 
> if you're looking for something well-written with consistent characterisation maybe look somewhere else. if you want sad!failboat!ryan being very upset and then eventually getting laid, by all means read on

 

okay so ryan is sort of a ridiculously pretentious hipster and hates that he has to take fashion photos to pay his rent and he hates all the pretty boys and girls who pout and pretend and live this fantasy life and he tries to put it in his pictures and capture the emptiness but no one  ever gets him.

 

So Ryan The Moody Photographer (™) shares a studio with Shane The Successful Fashion Photographer who he kind of hates, because Ryan kind of hates everyone.

 

Except that’s not really his problem, not with Shane. Ryan hates Shane because Shane sees exactly what Ryan's trying to do, with the pictures. He sees Ryan’s vision and he doesn’t share it or admire it, he finds the whole thing hilarious (it's just a job dude, seriously)

 

He sees through Ryan, and it shakes him pretty deep.

 

And then Shane gets this job with Brendon. Brendon, this model who is very pretty and very pouty but really seems to believe in what he's doing. Brendon, who parades around in skin-tight glittery pants and bowties and smiles like the whole world is laughing with him, and really cares. It's not about clothes for him, it never is. For Brendon, for every damn photo he takes, it's about art and Ryan fucking HATES him and he HATES Shane and he HATES his life totally.

 

...and Brendon is just always around, he's always at the studio even when they're not shooting and Shane is buddying up with him like they’re - something, something old and cuddly and Ryan can’t stop to think about it, he can’t - and he keeps trying to ENGAGE Ryan with chatter and smiles and wtf are those lips seriously this is not life

 

and Ryan doesn't - he doesn't do people. He shoots bodies and feelings. But Brendon. he just. he lies in bed at night thinking about holding him down, all spread out and taking shot after shot. he wants his smile and the arch of his hips and the glint in his eyes when he talks about music. he wants -

 

And then he walks into the studio to find Brendon blowing Shane whilst he takes photos of his cock between Brendon’s lips.

 

Ryan just doesn't know what the fuck to do. He's just kind of standing there, staring, and his hands are shaking and Shane is looking up at him kind of awed and terrified and Brendon just doesn't stop and it's not until Shane's camera drops to the ground that Ryan turns and runs.

 

He runs, and he just goes home and he doesn't come out. And he doesn't know how much time passes or how many jobs he misses or how many panicked messages Shane leaves on his answerphone and Brendon moves on from job to job and Ryan order copies of every cover he appears on and never tells anyone.

 

It's not like Ryan means to turn into a crazy stalker. It's just kind of default mode for him when he wants something so desperately it hurts his chest. And he still can't get Brendon out of his head. He doesn't know him, not really, but it just feels... and he's got piles of magazines all over his floor and sketches in notebooks that are blurry and shaky-handed and the look on Shane's face (like reverence - fuck) burned onto the back of his eyelids

 

Time drags by without his notice and Ryan gets a letter from his agent telling him to answer his fucking emails and that a client asked for him personally. Curious, Ryan pulls his laptop out to check and Brendon's name is sitting at the top of his inbox.

 

He doesn't mean to say yes, not really. His hands are shaking as he types out a very polite decline but then - the universe is after him, knows what a fucking coward he is, and his phone rings.

 

He answers it without thinking and he's there, on the phone and Ryan is gonna fucking kill Jon, he's the worst agent in the world what the fuck, and Brendon's voice is just so warm and so honest and  the yes just kind of trips off the end of his tongue

 

So he kind of makes himself shower and eat food but he can't really feel his feet when they walk across his carpet and then somehow without him realising, it's Monday morning and he's in the doorway of the studio, knuckles white where they grip the camera

 

Brendon's just ... sitting there. He's got thick-rimmed glasses on and his shirt is untucked and he's curled around his coffee like it's keeping him from floating away. It's nothing like the glossy images Ryan's been turning over in his head, so utterly far from that. He's not this plastic boy or this sexual deviant he's just a kid, early twenties, maybe, very small and soft and Ryan didn't know his chest could squeeze like this but it does and he just wants to run and cry.

 

But he doesn't.

 

He walks into the room and Brendon's smiling up at him, soft and sleepy, almost, and tells Ryan to sit down. So he shuffles toward the tiny couch he and Shane carried in from a yard sale and both of them are really close together and he can feel the warmth off of Brendon's skin and it feels a little bit like dying because Ryan isn't made for this. But brendon just smiles again and lays his palm flat on Ryan's knee

 

"I know that you saw. God I can't even imagine what you think of me. But it's not. I don't. Shane's just kind of a weak spot of mine. He always has been. I um, don't want that to change what you see in me, Ryan." and Ryan swallows and tries so, so hard to look Brendon in the face, knows the nervous smile that will be tugging at his lips. but he doesn't, and he doesn't say anything, either

 

"And i do want you to shoot me. I. Ever since Shane showed me your work, God, the way you make something so empty look so fragile. I really need you to take my picture, Ryan, I don't even care." The hand on Ryan's knee squeezes, just a little and Ryan makes himself nod.

 

"I. Uh. You saw my work - you saw.."

 

"Of course, how could you miss it? And Shane wouldn't shut up about it, Ryan Ross this, Ryan Ross that, Ryan Ryan Ryan, what a fucking genius. I had to have a piece of that myself - if you'd let me."

 

And Ryan's heart has migrated to somewhere in his throat. All those images from before splash to the surface of his mind. Brendon tied down, naked and pale and totally uncovered for him, his muscles flexing under his skin. His eyes closed and his mouth open. And - and his mouth around Shane and fuck fuck. He feels the blush spread over his cheeks, his throat, his whole body flushing with it. "B-Brendon, I -"

 

"No, Ryan." His hands close around Ryan's, holding them together, and he knows Brendon can feel him shaking, shit, of course he can, but his body can't stop thrumming with nervous energy. "Ryan I want this. I want you to. whatever you want me to do, I'm yours." and Ryan's brain is somewhere outside of the room, shattering. He wants to lean forward and press his lips against Brendon's and he wants to take and it would be so easy, if Brendon would let him.

 

(then there's a minor breakdown and i take a pause)

 

okay okay so Ryan is leaning forward, he just can't help it, like his body is on some secret gravitational pull into Brendon's space and then Shane comes into the studio and rushes over to Ryan.

 

He gets pulled into a hug and Shane just mutters over and over about how fucking worried he was, Ryan, how could you do that to him.

 

Ryan is just at a loss. the room is spinning and Brendon is right in front of him and Shane has his body pressed into Ryan's and - he hates Shane, right? - except it feels so okay to be tucked into his arms because Ryan never gets this, he doesn't get to touch of hold or feel.

 

And Shane just isn't letting go of him and Ryan doesn't know what to do and he's just standing there, crying into Shane's chest and he can feel Brendon watching them and nothing makes sense. He makes a kind of pathetic noise at the back of his throat and Shane pushes him back onto the couch before his legs give out

 

"Hey, hey, Ry it's okay. It's. It's over now okay. You're here and it's okay. Fuck." Shane looks helpless and Brendon just leans forward and presses his lips into Ryan's hair.

 

"I'm sorry, I had no idea, I didn't mean to." and Ryan doesn't know what he's talking about. Nothing has made any sense for the last half an hour.

 

Brendon tugs Shane off to the corner and Ryan can't make sense of the patterns on the woodgrain or hear a word they say. He sort of watches them, see's Brendon's hand rub along Shane's arm and Shane looking helplessly between Ryan and Brendon, and then leaning in to press a kiss to Brendon's lips.

 

Things get kind of blurry. Ryan can't remember the last time he ate.

 

Brendon is kneeling right in front of Ryan, looking up at him through his eyelashes and Ryan just wants to trace the shadows with his fingertips. "Ry, we're gonna make such pretty art, you know that?"

 

Ryan nods. He's been mute for so long now he's not sure his tongue remembers how to speak.

 

And Brendon stands up and Ryan can't help but reach up after him, wants him to come back, but he just looks down, smiling softly and Ryan feels so so small.

 

"We're gonna make beautiful things, Ry"

 

And then Shane is standing behind Brendon, pressed up against his back and he's smiling this time - he's not lost any more, not the way Ryan is and somebody needs to make things make sense because Ryan can't and they're kissing again, soft and gentle and nobody is touching Ryan and he feels like he's going to shatter.

 

He just - he wants - he has no idea. Shane pulls back and stares at Ryan, glassy eyed and his mouth so pink and wet.

 

"Ryan, we need to talk - I - shit - what you saw before, me and Brendon. We've been, since we were kids and you - you were just standing there and not moving, Ryan. I wanted -" Shane can't seem to make his mouth work and Ryan understands, right now he couldn't talk for anything.

 

His throat is all closed up and his fingers ache and nothing makes sense and he wants Shane pressed against him again so, so badly that he moves to his feet and walks into their space, feels the heat spilling off their bodies and he touches his mouth against Shane's.

 

There are arms on his shoulders and someone's there, holding him up, which is good because his body mostly wants to fold away. And then small little kisses spread down his neck before it dips into his shirt. And it's - Brendon is mumbling things into his skin, pressed up close to him, pressing him into Shane.

 

Shane's arms come around Ryan and take the place of Brendon's, pressed all along Ryan's front, and Ryan can't stop kissing him, soft and desperate like little hiccups in his chest that drive him forward into Shane over and over again. Then there's a flash and snapping sound and Shane turns sharply and they both meet Brendon's eyes over the camera lens.

 

"You both just - you're always behind this thing, and you have no idea what you look like. I had to" and he takes another shot, snapping randomly at the points where they're pressed up close to each other.

 

His technique isn't great and they can't be coming out well but - but no one has ever wanted to take Ryan's picture, has never seen what he sees in everyone and he just can't deny the way Brendon's bottom lip is tucked between his teeth, or how his hands quiver around the camera, so he leans back into Shane for more soft kisses

 

Then, then Shane slips his hands under Ryan's shirt, never quite landing on his skin, just brushing past to lift it up over his head and Ryan's hands have always been so deft and so graceful but when they curl into Shane's shirt they just don't want to work and he just pulls, desperately and the buttons pull away from the fabric and go spilling across the floor and Ryan can't hear the sound above the camera shutter and his own pulse in his ears.

 

Ryan doesn't see Brendon toss the camera onto the couch, but he feels him come back to them, wrapping himself around Shane's back, naked from the waist up and just as lean and gorgeous and Ryan pictured. Shane lets him lean back and tug Brendon into a kiss, he watches them, panting into Ryan's shoulder and holding onto his hips and waiting, waiting and it just feels like it's been so long with the three of them stood in this spot, desperately passing themselves back and forth.

 

Shane strips Ryan and just covers him with kisses and sucks bruises all down his back and Ryan can't take his hands off Brendon's skin, running his nails down Brendon's ribs and biting down low under his bellybutton. he  pushes him down onto the rug and does what he wanted, before, what he couldn't stop thinking about. He presses Brendon's wrists down above his head and tells him to keep them there and he goes down on him, right there in the studio.

 

Shane is still behind Ryan, bare and rocking his hips into Ryan's, pressed close to Ryan's ass. He curls his hand loosely around Ryan's cock and jerks him in time to his thrusts and Ryan is just trapped, totally, between the heat of both of their bodies.

 

He can't think beyond the feel of Brendon on his tongue and shane's hand moving so slowly around him and their bodies cradled together over Brendon. Brendon who is being so still, so good for him and Ryan just can't

 

He relaxes his throat and takes as much of Brendon as he can, swallowing him down as Shane ruts against him harder, more desperate, pressed so hot against him and Ryan feels himself fall apart, spilling over Shane's hand with a desperate sigh.

 

Shane pulls him back so he's settled on his lap, his neck twisted back so he can kiss him over and over and he thrusts up against Ryan until he comes between them, shaking.

 

Brendon just watches, eyes dark. He sits up and crowds into them, hand wrapped around his cock and panting into both of their mouths until he comes over his fist, collapsing onto them and running his fingers over both of their bodies

 

Ryan - he doesn't mean to fall asleep between the two of them, but he must do, because when he wakes up deep afternoon sun is streaking through the studio and he has Shane curled into his side and Brendon's arms wrapped around his waist, and it feels. It feels okay, like it's the first time in months he's felt like his feet were on the ground, he wants to wrap himself up in this moment and never let it go. But Brendon snuffles into his chest and looks up at him, sleepy and adorable and Ryan remembers what being awake and in control of his body feels like. He presses a kiss into Brendon's hair, just like he did earlier, and tells him to go back to sleep.

 

Brendon smiles up at him and shakes his head.

 

"But I seem to remember you promising to take my picture, Ryan Ross."

 

Shane mumbles something into Ryan's skin, flopping his weight onto Ryan's and pinning him down.

 

"I think," Ryan tells Brendon, carding his fingers through soft brown hair, "I think that might have to wait until later."

  
Brendon grins and presses his lips down on Ryan's chest. "I'm pretty sure we've got all the time in the world."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry


End file.
